When it comes to rape, I prefer to focus on the dispositional factors and not situational factors because I refuse to believe that the victim or environment is somehow responsible for what has been done to them. After the first part, someone sent me a long message justifying why prostitutes “slutty girls” should be raped. According to her since they have already had sex before it doesn’t change anything and there is nothing like spousal rape.
I initially wrote a long reply delving into the psychology of rape and the importance of consent. Then I cancelled it and wrote, “It’s okay to steal from you if you’ve given me or anyone else something before since someone has had something of yours.”
If we stop victim shaming especially of male victims and stricter rape laws are put in place, then people will take rape more seriously. I recently saw a Facebook post mocking a woman for crying because she was groped. It took everything in me not pour a pot of fire on the post.
The only time people actually apportion some of the blame to the rapist and the devil, of course, is – if it involves a child. But it should not stop there. No one deserves to be raped.
I know a girl whose boyfriend left her after finding out she was raped because she allowed herself to be raped.
We give the rapist a sense of entitlement and justify their pathological behaviour by blaming the victim for irrelevancies like dressing and what not.
If it was about dressing, drunken state, late nights then children, virgins, women who cover everything won’t get raped but they do. Different women and men (yes, men) get raped.
If we focus all the shaming and blaming in trying to understand the psychology of rape, stopping behaviours that objectify people, justify rape and give the rapist a sense of entitlement because the victim acted or dressed a certain way or was in a certain place then we can make progress. Also teaching ourselves respect for other peoples body.
Most rapists take advantage of the victim relationship with them to rape them. They gain the victim’s trust and are most times are in a position to influence the victim’s life hence they use that power to continue to abuse them sexually. Bringing me back to my dispositional theory. It is within. Mostly a sick need for power, relevance, and in some cases lust, revenge.