Lately, I have been thinking about death. The how, when, where, who will miss me and what not. This is not an ominous sign, really. However there some days I step out of the bubble to reflect, especially as I have had near death experiences like this.
My dad’s birthday was on Monday and I was thinking, this man is old. Just like that. I remember when I was much younger, him without grey hair and me a precocious child discussing books, newspapers and him teaching me history that can’t be found in textbooks.
Now I look at him, as we wished him a happy birthday, I notice how he has to be bald because he doesn’t want to keep his grey hair. And no, he won’t dye his hair… He is too old school for that. Me, I struggle to finish a book in a week and only have time to glance through newspapers because I’m trying to do this life thing as a young adult.
Watching my dad, I realise nothing really matters. Time is short and the only constant is having yourself. Just like the recent tragedies in Lagos and the rest of the world, in an instant, you are gone or someone very dear to you.
I was talking to my friend Nazom and I told her I’m scared of making plans and banking on a future that may never come and scared of living for the day till my future becomes my present.
Honestly, it’s tiring to think of. Since the only constant is yourself, if not anything, strive to be a good person every day. I try, I make mistakes but I try again. The best way I can give closure to this post is by saying whenever all these thoughts try to eat me up, I turn to God. As simple as that. I realise I don’t even control my life. Just how two people meet in time, and one takes the life of the other. Or the like the man who splashed water on me today, I couldn’t even choose not to be splashed like the many uncertainties with life.