Since the lockdown, we have seen different self-made life coaches telling people how best to live through these times. While these may be helpful as guides, placing ultimatums and perpetuating the idea that not doing these “productive things” equates laziness or lack of ambition is destructive. We are not on a holiday, we are currently in a forced lockdown because the world is experiencing a pandemic that has affected millions of people in every part of the world.
A society like ours make seeing households with 7 children and above as the norm. Especially if the family in question wanted a particular gender which in most cases are male children, the number of children gotten in their quest is excused because they finally got their dream. I mostly don’t have an issue with that. What I find problematic is that doing this while in poverty with the excuse that the children will become rich or that God will take care of them, so the parents drop children like raindrops on a rainy day waiting for the children to grow up and lift them out of poverty. However, we see thousands of these children every day, prancing the streets, missing the fundamental requirements of a child.
This something I’ve wanted to pen down but got the needed boost after seeing Issa Rae’s speech for Women In Film Gala. As humans, women especially humility is a required quality. This is great, especially for me as a Christian. However, I’ve realised that it has become very easy to reduce yourself to accommodate others and feed their ego.
As I relaunch my blog, I thought about all the cool names to name my blog, which seemed fitting since I want to establish myself as a brand – a purpose driven woman. However, I still stuck to OnyinyeOlufunmi, a combination of my first (Igbo) and middle (Yoruba) name because I don’t think anything else captures my essence. Not either of them alone, but as it, delicately woven together to reflect who I was, I am and will be.
Yesterday, I was at a wedding party when a little girl of about 3 (I think) tugged at my gown and wanted me to carry her. I looked up and saw her father smiling and gesturing that I could carry her. She is a cute baby; she smelt of coconut oil and vanilla extract so I didn’t put her down even when my arms started to ache.
When it comes to rape, I prefer to focus on the dispositional factors and not situational factors because I refuse to believe that the victim or environment is somehow responsible for what has been done to them. After the first part, someone sent me a long message justifying why prostitutes “slutty girls” should be raped. According to her since they have already had sex before it doesn’t change anything and there is nothing like spousal rape.
“Shalewa, what causes rape?”
“Victim’s dressing, beauty, sexual appeal, drunken state, hairstyle, body signal. When the victim stays out late, goes to visit a stranger, parties with the opposite sex. In fact, rape will be prevented if girls are moral.”
A round of applause for Shalewa, who represents our dear society that consistently sites the above reasons for rape either assertively or subliminally.