This something I’ve wanted to pen down but got the needed boost after seeing Issa Rae’s speech for Women In Film Gala. As humans, women especially humility is a required quality. This is great, especially for me as a Christian. However, I’ve realised that it has become very easy to reduce yourself to accommodate others and feed their ego.
As I relaunch my blog, I thought about all the cool names to name my blog, which seemed fitting since I want to establish myself as a brand – a purpose driven woman. However, I still stuck to OnyinyeOlufunmi, a combination of my first (Igbo) and middle (Yoruba) name because I don’t think anything else captures my essence. Not either of them alone, but as it, delicately woven together to reflect who I was, I am and will be.
Yesterday, I was at a wedding party when a little girl of about 3 (I think) tugged at my gown and wanted me to carry her. I looked up and saw her father smiling and gesturing that I could carry her. She is a cute baby; she smelt of coconut oil and vanilla extract so I didn’t put her down even when my arms started to ache.
When it comes to rape, I prefer to focus on the dispositional factors and not situational factors because I refuse to believe that the victim or environment is somehow responsible for what has been done to them. After the first part, someone sent me a long message justifying why prostitutes “slutty girls” should be raped. According to her since they have already had sex before it doesn’t change anything and there is nothing like spousal rape.
“Shalewa, what causes rape?”
“Victim’s dressing, beauty, sexual appeal, drunken state, hairstyle, body signal. When the victim stays out late, goes to visit a stranger, parties with the opposite sex. In fact, rape will be prevented if girls are moral.”
A round of applause for Shalewa, who represents our dear society that consistently sites the above reasons for rape either assertively or subliminally.
I struggled with writing this post because how controversial and sensitive mental disability is and I didn’t want to edit what I’m feeling. Some days ago, I was feeling a bit depressed thinking how about how some things were going wrong in my life and I was worried about the pimple on my face and pissed about the menstrual cramps I was having. I was just dwelling on the bad in my life. How silly of me. Not because of how I felt, it is crazy to be happy 24/7 or not have problems but how irrelevant. I mean….. a pimple?! It is an actual problem but not one to lose sleep over.
I had this nice handmade cowrie necklace on some days ago and someone said to me, probably to save me from eternal damnation “Cowries are demonic, don’t use it”. I found the advise hilarious and wondered if the devil handcrafted the necklace or if the Hausa man who made it with leather and sold to me was the devil.